I’m SO vain

As you can imagine, I’ve never heard my name mispronounced. Misunderstood, sure. I’ve definitely been call Tara, Karen, Dara, and even asked if “that’s Sarah with an S?” over the phone before, but as long as someone can read my name, there is a 100% success rate on pronunciation. Growing up however, I often felt a little left out. Many of my peers would get their name mispronounced, why not me? So in response to feeling left out in my adolescence I’ve overcompensated in my adult life by responding to just about anything that sounds like Sarah.  

I always respond to “Sarah”. Even if there are multiple Sarah’s in the vicinity (which there almost always are) and it wouldn’t make sense for someone to be addressing me, I assume they are. I also respond to “Tara”. And more often than I’d like to admit, I respond to Sir. But honestly, if a fast talker with a Southern accent (is that an oxymoron?) were to say “Sarah” it would sound like “Sir”, right? However, I, in all. my. vanity. out did myself the other day.

I responded to a sneeze.
As in, someone sneezed and I thought they said Sarah.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an appointment to get my own name tattooed on my ass.

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