When I say “please eat a lot of this” what I mean is “please eat a lot of this and FAST. Faster than me (which, in case you haven’t spent any time around me when I’m consuming food, is just about breakneck speed). Because if you don’t, I will eat all of it. And quickly.”
In unrelated news all I’ve had to eat today is sugar. Just. Sugar. Okay, sugar and fish tacos. But you know what? Screw it, because some days are meant for only sugar. That actually probably isn’t true but really, it’s the end of the day and I’ve consumed obscene amounts of sugar so I need to somehow reconcile my conscience with my reality lest I abuse myself into believing that tomorrow I’ll spend gym-addicted amounts of time on cardio machines and eat only leafy greens. Not. Gonna. Happen.
Just to be clear, I have no idea what this blog is about. But I need to go reheat my hot cocoa. . .