Even if he hadn’t been chewing tobacco. . .

Favorite part of being single: determining that a guy is a douche approximately 7.5 seconds into conversation.

Me: “So do you like it here?”

Him: “I miss Phoenix. There is this one area of town where there are like, 13 bars and clubs all lined up on one strip. It’s really nice.”

Aaaaand I’m gonna go ahead and pass on being the next recipient of his venereal disease.

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